Chapter 10

A month passed since Hannah's death and memorial. I didn't go to the memorial, despite Dahlia encouraging me to. I wouldn't have been able to handle thinking about her any longer, and it was time to move on. I stopped going to therapy completely. There wasn't anything he'd be able to do anyway. So I called Dr. Kelley's office and canceled all the upcoming appointments. I made up some story for Dahlia that Dr. Kelley said that I didn't need to go to therapy anymore and my prescription was over with. It was the only time I felt bad for lying to her, for she seemed to be so excited that I was "doing better". I didn't talk to Hannah's friends anymore, and they didn't talk to me. Lucas was the only one who checked in occasionally, but I was sure he was only being polite. I didn't mind either way, though, I had Avery. We spent more time together, and she was a welcoming distraction to having the crows following me everywhere. For once, it felt nice to be around someone who was genuinely interested in me and spending time with me.

No progress was made on the investigation into finding Hannah's murderer. Darren was frustrated about this. I knew this because he ranted about it every time he beat me up in the school bathrooms. Krieth encouraged me to fight back, but I knew it would be a bad idea. Even if I did have the upper hand, beating up Darren, effectively embarrassing him, would really upset the balance of my place in the school, which was not something I was interested in doing. I was comfortable in my unnoticeable corner where people only looked at me in passing and occasionally whispered about my weird demeanor. So things slowed down. I felt like I was still normal. Things felt better than they were. And when I wasn't watching Krieth, I almost forgot about what had happened. Anyone would know that wouldn't last for long, though.

Each morning I would look at myself in the mirror and be met with gray empty eyes staring back at me. My body seemed to constantly be irritated, and I would find feathers falling out of my scalp. My tongue would often feel thick and too big in my mouth some days, my mind seeking some kind of animalistic relief by letting it loll out of my mouth as though I were a dog or a snake. My gums ached constantly behind my new jagged teeth and I couldn't go too long without chewing on something. If even for a moment I felt like myself again, my jaw would start twitching for something to gnaw on and I felt like some out of place creature.

It was the morning of December 11th when I was thinking about this, lying in bed staring at my unmoving ceiling fan, my gums aching, but this time, I was starting to feel hungry again. Krieth was watching me with that same old stare, as he knew what I was realizing. It was clear that he could feel it too.

I turned my head to look at him. "So who are we gonna eat?"

"That's up to you."

"You chose last time."

"That was only because you didn't know what you were doing. I just gave you a little nudge."

"If anything, I'd rather you just make me sleepwalk again. That was way easier."

Krieth leaned forward slightly. "I could if you wanted me to."

I shook my head. "No, I'm not being serious, I just..." I sighed, sitting up. "I wish it didn't have to be like this."

Krieth stared at me for another moment in extended silence before looking over at my closet. "You should get up now. You'll be late for school."

"You're right." I climbed out of bed and stretched my aching bones. "Since when did you start caring about my schedule?"

"I don't understand why you continue to wear that skin, or even why you continue to follow a human regime. But this is what you are doing, so it's what I must put up with."

I changed into my uniform in the mirror, looking at Krieth in the reflection behind me. "Are you saying that I can exit my skin? Like literally? Like take it off?"

"Of course you can. Though I can already tell you wouldn't quite like that."

I turned around. "So what would I see if I took it off?"

"Your true self."

Again with the vague answers. I figured I was better off not asking Krieth for anything else. It was obvious that he wanted me to figure everything out on my own anyway, so why not do exactly that?

I left the house before Dahlia had the chance to ask me about breakfast. I couldn't stop thinking about how long it would take before someone noticed I hadn't been eating at all anymore. Avery had been interrogating me every lunch when I didn't eat any food, and sometimes I would even eat regular food to keep her suspicions away from me, only for me to throw it all up an hour later. No matter how incorrect the reasons were that people assumed I wasn't eating for, I didn't like to be bothered about it. I was always terrible at coming up with good excuses and I would probably end up exposing something I didn't want exposed. This inhuman hunger was relentless. I wasn't sure why, but it was so much more aggressive and persistent than the normal kind of hunger I felt when I was once human. When I was once human. I still couldn't believe myself when I thought that. I wasn't human anymore. That was all I used to be.

Gym class was less hell than it used to be, at the very least. I didn't have to sit out anymore since I got a lot physically better at sports. We were running around the track that day, and I ran ahead of everyone else, even with the weakness that was feeling such horrible hunger. Obviously, a gym class full of boys had to make everything about competition. And with someone who'd been incompetent at sports suddenly doing well, that definitely didn't sit right with anyone. And especially not Darren, evident that, while we were taking a break on the bleachers and the teacher headed inside, Darren grabbed me by the collar of my gym uniform and lifted me to my feet. This came as no surprise, but all the attention in the class was focused on us. He always seemed to love drawing attention toward himself.

Straight to the point, his face inches from mine, Darren said, "You, me, race."

I stepped back away from him. "What's this for?"

He didn't answer me, and instead walked to the start line on the track. With a heavy sigh, I walked over next to him. "Lucas!" he called.

Lucas, who'd been purposefully avoiding this since Darren walked up to me, was forced to step forward when Darren called his name. "What, dude?"

"I need you to watch our race."

He frowned slightly. "What, like be a referee?"

"Yes."

With a sigh, Lucas stood by the line where we were. "I don't think I'll need to, but alright." In an exasperated and unenthusiastic tone, he said, "On your mark, get set, go." We took off at the same time, but I didn't realize that I'd left Darren a couple yards behind me. I wasn't holding back here. I knew I would win, and I went for it. When I looked over my shoulder, I could see the rage burning in his eyes as he tried to push himself to move faster. Before I knew it, I'd run the whole track and arrived back at the start line. I slowed to a stop as soon as I crossed it, and Darren arrived a couple seconds after me.

"No question about it, man. Jay won. Now, are we done here?" Without waiting for an answer, Lucas walked away, picking up his jacket. The reaction from the other boys watching wasn't terribly remarkable either. At most, people felt awkward watching Darren's arrogance fail him and tried to stay out of the ensuing shit he was about to cause.

I looked at Darren, who was panting and staring at the ground. As I walked by him, heading in the direction of the school building, I patted him on the shoulder, something I wouldn't have ever done before, and said, "Good game, Darren." He flinched violently under my touch and refused to look at me.

Krieth came fluttering down to me and sat on my shoulder. "Finally, you do something mildly amusing." I'd found that no one else could see Krieth specifically, for a reason I didn't know. But if he could make his presence hidden to me, it wasn't surprising that he also didn't appear to others.

"I'll take that as a compliment," I muttered as I headed inside to the boy's locker rooms. My locker was on the far end of the locker room, in the side where there were rows of unclaimed lockers.

"Really, you never bother to show off. You are superior to these humans, in case you forgot."

"Didn't forget. Just don't care." I changed back into my regular uniform and shoved my gym clothes in my locker. As I turned to leave, I was shocked to see Darren standing by the door to my right. I visibly jumped in surprise.

"Who the hell are you talking to?" Darren asked.

"No one. What do you want?"

He walked over to me and grabbed me by the tie. "What the fuck has been up with you lately? Ever since Hannah died, it's no more 'lonely shaky hands boy'. You're so different." He tightened his grip on my shirt. "More importantly, how the fuck did you beat me in that race?"

"I'm not at liberty to say," I responded, as calmly as I could, resisting the urge to smile as I spat his words back at him.

"Bullshit," he hissed through bared teeth. "That's such bullshit."

"Look," I said, slowly licking my aching teeth, "We can race again if you want. After school. I know a good place. Neither of us can cheat, it'll be as fair as it can be."

Darren's grip loosened slightly. "Well, where is this place?"

"Out in the woods. An abandoned house. I'll show you where it is, no one else knows about it." I took Darren's hand away from my shirt. "Sound fair to you?"

He stepped back with a curt nod. "Sure. Fine. I'll meet you in the courtyard after school, and you can show me the abandoned house." Stiffly, he turned away and walked out of the locker room, the heavy door falling shut behind him.

Krieth sat back down on my shoulder. "He'll make for a good meal."

The creature inside me began smiling at his remark. "Yes, yes he will."

I couldn't hide my restlessness throughout the rest of the day. For some reason, the plans I'd laid out for myself filled me with excitement in a way I hadn't felt in a long time. Maybe it was just my hunger speaking for me, but even then, there was something thrilling about luring someone I hate into the woods so that I could kill them. Never in my life did I ever think that murder would be getting me excited in some way. And the more I thought about it, the way my terror and horror were being overtaken by the sadistic instincts of the creature I was becoming, the more I regretted everything I'd done up to this point.

During English class, like in every English class, I drew in my sketchbook. Krieth was sitting on the table, perched on the edge, silently watching as I sketched him out. Avery was watching too, though she was at the very least paying more attention to the lesson than I was. I was never all that exceptional in any of my classes, though at the very least I did enough to pass. Avery was about the same, but she didn't really want to take any chances in possibly falling behind.

She leaned over, looking at my drawing. "You've been drawing lots of crows lately. Whatever happened to the eyes?"

"Just wanted to try something different, I guess. What do you think?" I asked, my question more directed at Krieth than Avery.

"It looks good," she replied. "I don't know how you're so good at drawing."

Krieth peered over at my drawing. "I agree with the girl. Your ability to recreate images in such a realistic fashion is most impressive."

I smirked. "Thanks."

As the bell rang, signaling the end of class, Avery shot out of her seat with enthusiasm. She hurriedly packed up her things and turned to me as I was doing the same. "So, wanna head to the secret hideout? I recently got a new camera, and I wanted to take some photos up there. I need your help for it too."

I smiled at her. "Oh, so you're calling it the 'hideout' now?"

"Shut up," she said with a chuckle. "It's just easier that way."

"Anyway, I can't today. I've got some stuff I need to do today. Maybe we can go tomorrow."

Avery sighed, her shoulders slumping in disappointment. "That's alright. I guess I'll see you tomorrow, then?"

"Yeah, see you." I waved to Avery as she walked out of the classroom, and then pulled my backpack over my shoulders.

I don't know how long I waited in the courtyard for Darren, but it was certainly longer than it should have been. I was standing there until it was completely empty, and I was sure I looked like an idiot waiting for a drug dealer to show up. But Darren eventually exited the school, adjusting his varsity jacket. His eyes landed on me with that signature distaste in his gaze.

"You ready to go" I said quietly, my breath hissing out from my mouth in a white puff.

"Yes, let's get out of here," he replied.

Without waiting another moment, I started leading Darren in the same direction that Avery led me when she first showed me the abandoned house. It wasn't the path we took when we went there regularly, since this one was far too obvious and easy for someone to follow us. And while this might have been considered something to worry about, as I led Darren through the neighborhood, I wasn't thinking about it at that moment. I'd instinctively brought him on this route simply due to my promise to Avery of not showing anyone else the way we went. When we reached the dead end, and began climbing the hill, Darren stared at me with an unamused look on his face. "How much further is this?"

I looked back at him. "What, are you tired already?" I almost laughed at his glare in reaction to my comment. "I'm kidding. It's not that far."

We climbed up the hill into the forest as it was starting to get dark. I was often annoyed by how early it got dark in the winter, though now, it was more to my benefit. It would be easier to sneak around. By the time we reached the house, Darren was out of breath from our trek through the forest. I stopped to let him breathe, and then considered mocking him again. But it would be of no use. I tossed my backpack to the ground and pulled off my coat.

Darren looked up at the house, taking deep breaths. "This place is sick, how'd you find it?"

"Just a bit of exploring." I took off my blazer and started undoing my white button up.

He turned to me. "What are you taking off your shirt for?"

From this point forward, something else took over my mind---something inhuman. I folded up my shirt and my tie and set them on my backpack with my coat and blazer. "I don't want to get blood on it."

He narrowed his eyes. "What are you talking about?"

The skin around my arms and hands split open, revealing a secondary pair of hands, covered in the same scales that covered the feet of crows and possessing claws reminiscent of their talons in place of my fingernails. Feathers sprouted up through my skin, covering my arms and in small patches of my back. I could feel my skin start to grow loose around my face as I flexed my jaw. Running my tongue over my sharpened teeth, I could already taste his terror in my mouth.

Darren's horror was priceless. He stumbled back, shaking his head in disbelief. "Whaat...what the fuck..."

With a strangled laugh, I stepped closer to him. My hand shot out in front of me, gripping him by the throat. "Crows always go for the eyes first." With my other hand, I used my thumb and forefinger to slowly drive my claws into his left eye and pull it out. He screamed in agony all through it, trying and failing to escape from my grip. I set the eye in my mouth and bit down, the juices all flowing into the back of my throat. I did the same thing with his other eye, all while he screamed in pain.

"Please, please, I..." he swallowed. "Let me go, I don't..."

I stared into his eyeless sockets for a moment. "I could. A made blind man who rambles nonsense about his eyes being eaten by a monster. Sounds theatrical. But I can't do that." I let go of Darren's throat and looked up at the crows waiting in the trees. "It's time to eat."

All at once, they dove down and began ravaging the boy in front of me. His screams echoed out in the open air, before soon getting drowned out by the gargling of his own blood. Crows ripped and tore into his flesh, heartily devouring his insides. I could not describe the kind of elation I felt listening to his pathetic screams. No matter how much I acted like I didn't care, the years of torment I had to bear from him were insufferable. Now he was the weak one, and he had to feel every pinch of pain leading into his death. And in his immediate death, I knelt down next to his corpse and ate some of his innards for myself. He tasted different from Hannah, not an observation I thought I'd ever make. His flesh was more tender than hers and tasted surprisingly sweeter. Of course I didn't care how it was. I was just happy to be fed, as were my crows. I cupped some of his blood in my hands and drank it up, as though I were drinking water from a lake. Once I was finished, I stepped back away from his corpse, letting the crows finish their own share. Krieth landed on my shoulder, seemingly just as satisfied as I was.

"You ripped your skin open."

I looked down at my hands, at the loose sheets of my skin hanging off my arms as though it were ripped cloth. "I suppose I did."

"It will fix itself. For now, you should focus on cleaning up after this boy's death. You can wear his skin to his house. People will see him arriving home. That will change his time and place of death. We'll take the remnants of his corpse to his bedroom after everyone's gone to sleep."

"Thanks for doing all the thinking for me."

Before Krieth could respond, a scream of terror echoed across the freezing air. I turned to see Avery standing by the side of the house. Her hands were clasped over her mouth in horror as her eyes flicked between me and Darren's corpse. Eyes wide, and knees trembling, you could see how much she wanted to run, but her body would not let her. The sadistic joy was now entirely gone from my body, reality returning as a horrific spear with Avery's arrival.

I quickly ran over to her. "Avery, hey, just calm down."

She stared up at me in horror and then looked back at Darren. "Is that...?"

"Yes, it's Darren."

She sucked in a sharp gasp and then turned back to me. "And you're..."

"It's...It's a long story. I don't have time to explain right now. I'll tell you everything tomorrow if you promise to not tell anyone about what you saw here."

"Jay...I..."

"Please," I insisted. "Promise me."

A tear ran down Avery's face, and she took in a shaky breath. Pulling her sleeve across her cheek, she nodded slowly. "Alright. Fine. I won't tell anyone, but you owe me a fucking explanation." Her tone was sharp, but her voice wavered as she struggled to hold back her sobs as more tears flowed down her face.

I set a feather on her shoulder. "Thank you. Get going now, quickly."

She pinched the end of the feather between her thumb and forefinger, staring hopelessly once again at the corpse being pecked at by hungry birds. Without saying anything else, she turned and ran in the direction from which she came. I watched her until she was gone, and then turned back to the mess I needed to clean up.

"So you know where he lives?"

"Of course I do."

I sighed. "Alright, let's get to it, then."

Wearing Darren's skin felt like wearing a suit made of itchy wool that wasn't tailored for you. Still, it did the trick. I looked and sounded exactly like him. It was strange, needless to say. Despite how flawless I managed to make his skin look on me, his clothes were soaked in blood. The crows helped me wash most of it off in a nearby river, and now I just had to hope that no one would notice the remaining blood spots on the rest of his attire. Darren's house was not too different from Abigail's, and even resided on the same side of town where hers was. I fumbled with his keys at the front door, trying and failing to guess which key went to the front door. After a minute, I managed to get the door open and I walked inside to the warm house. I took off his shoes and shut the door behind me as I did, before being greeted shortly by Evan Shaw. He was dressed in a loose Pink Floyd t-shirt, sleeves tight around his biceps. The pants he was wearing seemed to be from his police uniform, likely evidencing that he'd just gotten home from work.

"Hey sport," he said with a smile. "You're a bit late, aren't you?"

I swallowed nervously. "Yeah, sorry about that." Listening to Darren's voice come from my mouth would never not be uncanny.

Evan looked out the window. "It's no big deal...Did you walk here, by the way?"

I looked at the keychain in my hand, a car key hanging off the silver loop. Shit. "I uhh, yeah, I did." I remembered Darren's car sitting in the school parking lot, and where his house was. It wouldn't make any sense for him to walk this distance when it would take much less time to drive it instead. "I was out with some friends, so I suppose I forgot it at school."

He looked at me with a raised eyebrow. "You 'suppose'?"

A bead of sweat ran down my face. How the hell was Darren supposed to talk?. "Yeah. I'm just really tired." I fiddled with the hem of his varsity jacket. "I'm just gonna go straight to bed tonight."

"And skip dinner?" Evan sighed. "If you insist, I guess, but we'll save a plate for you anyway."

"Thanks, Ev---Dad..."

"No problem, sport."

I rushed past him, following Krieth to Darren's bedroom. Hastily, I shut the door and headed straight for the window. After a moment of fumbling with the lock, I threw it open to the cold winter air and let the crows in. Krieth sat on the top of his dresser, watching as I began tearing his skin off.

"You're not wasting any time."

"Yeah, I want out of his skin. It feels scratchy and awful."

"As with most human skins."

The crows carried a desecrated skinless corpse into the bedroom and laid it out on Darren's bed. I laid out Darren's skin on top of his corpse and tossed his clothes next to it. I didn't bother making sure that it looked like it was still attached, I just wanted to be out of there. The crows left as quickly as they came, leaving behind a few feathers sitting on the floor of the room. In the lapse between getting Darren's flesh off and changing back into my own, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror hung on his bedroom door. I couldn't recognize the monster staring back at me with those pale gray eyes---it didn't feel real to see what I was seeing. It all felt like a dream, from the abandoned house to here. Still, through all of this, I hadn't wanted to believe that I was no longer human. This was my confirmation.

Getting back into my own skin didn't take long. It was a welcoming sensation, the way it wrapped back around me like a warm hug. I took a moment to take a few steady breaths in, relaxing as myself once again. Familiarity was all I needed then. Krieth watched me in silence, but I knew how much he wanted to offer his judgmental commentary. Like he always did. I quickly got my clothes on and climbed out of Darren's bedroom window. It was best to get going.