Chapter 13

School continued on the following day. Police were at the school, making their rounds and talking to students individually throughout the day. Evan, Darren's father, was there. I saw him amongst the other officers, though I questioned his well-being. Dark circles sat under his eyes, evidence of lost sleep. He was restless, tapping his foot on the ground or biting his nails and his hair remained undone. Of course I'd never really know how he was feeling. I didn't have a son who'd been murdered. But still, the small sliver of pity I had for him was overshadowed by how pathetic I observed his demeanor to be. Any sane person would've taken time off or actually composed himself before going into this kind of work. What an emotional wreck.

Avery and I exchanged knowing glances when we watched the police walk through the halls. We didn't say anything, but we both knew what was going to happen. During the walk to school, we already coordinated what our stories the day that Darren died would be, and we went to the park to take some photos together. If they reported that I'd been seen with Darren, the story was that Avery and I split up to go home after hanging out in the park and I ran into him on my way home. We hoped it would work. We hoped they'd believe us. There wasn't any reason not to.

Avery was pulled out of English class that afternoon. She fist bumped me before she got up from her desk and offered a small smile as she walked out of the classroom. I stared at the door the entire time she was out, tapping my pencil on the desk. It didn't do much to calm my anxiety, but it was all I could think of. Whether or not she got the story right. Whether or not she'd sell me out. God, I was hoping she'd stick to it.

When she finally came back into the room, my hand was sore from persistently tapping my pencil on the desk. She sat back in her seat with a sigh and smiled at me. "I think I did pretty well."

"Thanks," I whispered.

My attention was drawn back up to the door when a police officer called my name through an opened crack. "Jayden Anderson!"

I looked back down at Avery and whispered, "Wish me luck." She gave me two thumbs up in response. Hesitantly, repeating my lines in my head, I stood up from my seat and walked out of the classroom door. The officer led me to the teacher's lounge, where a mock interrogation room had been set up. I was told to sit down behind a desk which had been arranged to face the wall. Much to my dismay, Evan was sitting on the other side of the desk, a notebook of interviews scribbled down into it messily. Strangely, a look of surprise crossed his face when he saw me. Again, I questioned the state of his well being.

"Oh, Jayden. It's nice to see you again."

"Sure," I said flatly. "You learn anything new about the murders yet?"

He pulled a hand, messing up his hair more than it already was. "Still just grasping at straws. You got anything new for me?"

I shook my head, looking at him in mild confusion. That was the kind of question that he'd more likely be asking one of his coworkers. "No, not really."

"Alright...let's cut to the chase. How well did you know Darren?"

I shrugged. "Not very well. I mean he bullied me since we were in junior high, and we were friends for a bit while I was dating Hannah. But that's about it. We weren't all that close."

Evan narrowed his eyes slightly. "He bullied you?"

So badly I wanted to make a snide remark, endlessly frustrated with the incompetence of this man, but with the other officers watching, I bit back my reply. "Yes," I said.

He nodded slowly, looking down at his notes and biting down on his thumbnail. "According to some other students, you had an altercation with him during gym class the day he died. Can you tell me more about that?"

"There's not much to say. He asked to race me, we raced, I won and he was pissed. Not much else, I suppose."

"You suppose..." He scribbled something down into his notes. "And where were you...after school?"

"I was out with Avery Morrison. We went to the park to take some photos and then headed home a bit late."

He wrote something else down. "Yup...that sounds about right. When was the last time you saw Darren?"

I swallowed. "At school. I didn't talk to him after gym class."

Evan nodded. "Alright, I got you. Do you know if there would be anyone he was involved with that would want to hurt him?"

I shook my head. "I don't really know much about the other people he spent time with." I tapped my hand on the table. "Well...I heard rumors that he smoked weed."

He dropped his pencil on the table. "What was that?"

I raised my hands slightly. "I don't know if they were true, I just heard some...I heard some freshmen talking about the fact that he smoked weed in his free time. I'm guessing that whoever his dealer was might've been involved with some sketchy stuff."

He pulled his hand through his hair again and tapped his foot on the ground. He picked the pencil back up in between his thumb and forefinger and held it to the paper, but his hand didn't move. "I see."

"That will be all, Mr. Anderson," a female officer behind me said. "Thank you for your time."

I stood up from my chair and turned away to leave. I rubbed the back of my neck, holding my breath until I walked outside the door. Waiting outside of the teacher's lounge was Avery holding my backpack, looking at me with hopeful eyes as soon as I stepped out.

"Yeah, it's all good," I said with a sigh of relief.

She smiled. "Awesome. Here, I got us out of class early."

I took my backpack from her and hung it over my shoulder. "How'd you manage to do that?"

"Black magic," she said with a snicker.

I smiled slightly. "Alright, keep your secrets."

As we walked down the hall to the exit, I spotted Nancy standing alone in the hallway. She wasn't holding her messenger bag or anything, just leaning her head against one of the lockers. Her body was unmoving and her disheveled hair hung loosely over her face. Her stillness was almost unnerving and made me instinctively pick up my pace.

Once we were outside, I paused to dig my coat out of my backpack and pull it on. I looked at Avery, who was doing the same, and said, "What's up with Nancy?"

She zipped up her jacket and looked back at the door. "Oh. I heard from Lucas that she's really torn up about everything. She was really good friends with both Hannah and Darren. Can you imagine what it would be like, losing two of your best friends in two months?"

I slouched slightly, a feeling of guilt creeping into my stomach. "Right."

Avery shook her head. "Anyway, wanna go to my place? My dad's cooking ko'okoivaki for dinner."

"What is---wait, Avery, you know I can't eat food anymore, right?"

A look of disappointment crossed her face. "Oh, right." She stirred a patch of dirt with her shoe. "Wanna come over anyway? You said you wanted to meet him."

"Yeah, I never did meet him, did I? Sure, I'll come over."

Avery hooked her arm around mine. "Then what are we waiting for? Onward!"

We walked to Avery's place, arriving right when school was meant to be out. She used her key to get in and as the door swung open, we were greeted with the smell of freshly cooked food. For some reason, I couldn't quite recognize what it was that was cooking, but I knew the smell belonged to something of the savory sorts.

Avery closed the door behind us and called out into the house. "Papi! I'm home!"

The voice of an older sounding man called out a reply. "Ah, welcome home, Avery!"

She kicked her shoes off and hung up her coat by the door and looked at me. "You can just hang up your coat here." I did as she said and set my shoes in the same place she did. She led me to the kitchen which sat on the other side of the living room, where her father was. "I brought a friend, Papi. This is Jay."

Her father, who was standing over a hot stove, turned to face the two of us. It appeared as though he stood at about six feet in height, and paired with his broad shoulders and thick arms, made for quite an intimidating figure. His dark black hair, tied loosely behind his head, was streaked with gray. Scars crossed his face, and his eyes were completely white. It didn't seem that he was completely blind, for his gaze rested on us, but I guessed that he couldn't make out any distinct details. Like gazing through a frosted window pane.

"I umm...It's nice to meet you, sir," I said. Despite his warm smile, it felt as though he were staring straight through me with those cold eyes.

He held out his hand. "You may call me Len. Avery's told me a lot about you, Jay."

I swallowed nervously and shook his hand. "Oh, really?"

"Yes, it's nice to finally meet you." He let go of my hand and turned back to the stove. "And you're just in time to join us for dinner. I hope you're hungry."

"Yeah, of course."

Avery pulled some dishes out of the cabinets and then tugged my arm. "Let's go set the table."

"Oh, okay." I tore my gaze away from Len and followed Avery to the dining room.

There was a long wooden table in the center with chairs lining the sides. Flowery designs were carved into the sides and into the legs, and the polished wood shone against the light from the lamp sitting in the corner. We set the utensils on the table and took our seats opposite of one another. The head of the table was reserved for her father. Len brought the food in not too long after and set it down on the table. In the pot appeared to be beef and chili, and I wondered why I still couldn't smell it. Paired with the main dish was a plate of freshly baked flatbread. I'd never eaten anything like this before, and while the presentation certainly appeared appetizing, I felt nothing as I stared at it.

Len took his seat at the head of the table. "Help yourself to as much as you want, Jay."

I turned to Avery, quietly begging for help. She simply nodded to the food, clearly gesturing for me to take the food anyway. With a sigh, I did just that. I slowly picked up the ladle and dipped it into the pot. I dropped some of the beef and chili into my bowl and set it back in the pot before grabbing myself a piece of flatbread. Avery and Len soon followed suit, filling their bowls with food and beginning to eat. I stared hopelessly at the food in front of me, stirring it mindlessly with a spoon. After my moment of hesitation, I lifted up a spoonful of the chili, with a chunk of beef sitting in the middle of it, to my mouth and put it in my mouth. For a moment, the food tasted amazing, just as I expected it to be, and then the flavor faded away. And a hunk of nothingness sat in my mouth. I swallowed it quickly before my body could gag and sighed.

"So what do you think?" Len asked, dipping a piece of flatbread into his chili.

"It's...um...It's good. I like it," I said.

"That's nice to hear. This is an old family recipe, I'm always glad to share it."

Avery looked at me with a thumbs up and continued eating.

"So, do you have any plans for when you graduate? Since both you and Avery are seniors now, it's time to think about that."

I tapped my hand on the table. "I haven't really decided...specifically." I unconsciously ate another spoonful, and then forced myself to swallow after I realized I did.

"No college applications or anything?"

I shrugged. "I was never really that big on the idea of college anyway. I might just get a job somewhere in the city and live there."

Len took a sip of water and nodded. "I understand that. Avery's been applying to a bunch of universities here."

Avery quickly swallowed what she was chewing. "Nothing's set in stone, though," she added. "It's just nice to have options, you know?"

"Oh? I thought you were set on college."

Her eyes darted over to me for a brief moment and then back at her father. "Maybe. It's ideal, but there's some other things I might do too."

I managed to finish my bowl of food by the end of dinner, and then I helped Avery clean up afterwards. I couldn't stop thinking about the taste---or rather---the lack of taste of the food. And why I wasn't able to smell it. This whole time I'd been able to eat food and taste it just fine, but what changed tonight?

The two of us went to Avery's bedroom after Len had retired to his room for the night, and sat down on the floor next to her bed. She dug through some tapes, pulled out an XTC album, and put it in the cassette player. For a moment, we sat there in silence as the music played. I stared at the wall, just waiting for something to happen. Not like anything would. We were sitting in Avery's bedroom while music I didn't recognize played from a cassette player.

"That thing...about college?" I said, turning to look at her. "What are you thinking of studying in college?"

Avery pushed a lock of hair behind her shoulder and shrugged. "Oh I don't know, photography maybe? I've also been thinking about music." She fiddled with the ends of her sleeves. "That's the idea, but..."

I scooted closer to her. "But?"

She shook her head. "I don't know. I guess after high school, I just want to be with you." Before I could get the chance to respond, she continued, "And if we're not going to the same place, I don't know what I'd do."

"You can still go to college," I said quickly. "You don't have to be following me around. Look, maybe I won't go to college, but we can always..." I swallowed, my face growing hot. "...live together."

Avery looked at me. After a moment, she laughed. "Yeah, that's right. We can." She wrapped her hand around mine, sighing quietly. "Jay, can I tell you something?"

"Sure. Go ahead."

She took a deep breath. "Well...I have feelings for you. Like...the more than friends kind of feeling." Her grip on my hand tightened. "Is that okay?"

It took me a moment to realize I was smiling. Slowly, I nodded. "Yeah. I...I feel the same way about you. I've thought about it for a while now." I leaned toward Avery so that our noses were almost touching. She took notice of where my thoughts headed, and she pressed her lips to mine. It took me by surprise and the warmth of her touch made me feel more alive than I could ever remember feeling. And, even if just for a moment, I felt as though I was human again. I had someone to live for.

Avery had fallen asleep in my lap by the time it was time for me to leave. And while I didn't want to, I figured it would be important for me to at least head home for the night. Whenever I was out late without telling anyone, Dahlia would wait on the stairs and ask me relentless questions when I got back. So I slowly lifted Avery off of me and laid her in her bed. I draped one of her blankets over her and walked out of her room, turning off the light as I left. I walked back to the front door and pulled my shoes on. Right as I was getting my coat and backpack, Len met me at the door. I paused where I was as he walked up and stopped in front of me. "H-hey," I stammered. "I was just leaving."

He nodded slowly. "It was nice meeting you, Jay."

"It was nice to meet you too, Len."

Len set a hand on my shoulder and leaned close. "I want you to promise me something, alright?"

I stiffened. "What is it?"

"Promise me that you will keep my daughter safe. Keep her safe, and do no harm to her." His eyes, while white as snow, seemed to shoot daggers into me. I stared into them, wondering if he could see straight through me. Just how much did he really know? "Got it?"

I broke from my thoughts and nodded quickly. "Yes, I do. I promise, sir."

He grinned, and stepped back. "I told you to call me Len."

I nodded again. "Right."

"Have a good night, Jay."

"Thank you. You too."

I pulled my backpack on and walked out the door into the night. As I walked, the sparse street lights illuminating my way, Krieth flew down and landed on my shoulder without saying anything. I looked at him with a smile, and then a funny thing drifted into my mind. A small thing, one that anyone would forget. It was something I recall learning in my fifth grade biology class, in the unit where we learned about birds. Quite simply: crows don't have a sense of smell or taste.

I laughed to myself, then vomited on the side of the road.